The TPS Report

Your moment of zen.

Now with bonus enlightenment.

And taste party. Sunday. My place.

But as always, there's a catch--you need to show up with food. Good food. Brent will be rocking the deep fryer with all manner of battered goodness, and I'll be doing things in an oven. With bacon.

Think of this as Iron Chef, but with no secret ingredient or time limit. You can bring something you've already made, or cook here, but if you show up with chips and store-bought dip, we will feed you to Giada De Laurentiis' giant alien head.

And unless they're integrated into some sort of salad, the simple act of cutting fruits and vegetables and laying them on a plate doesn't count. We're food snobs, dammit.

Easy recipes can be provided for those who don't have cable, and thus cannot watch the food network.

Scheduled for 6ish, Sunday, January 28. Come one, come all, and let me use your ears for profit.

Adult refreshments will be provided. Put any requests in the comments.

Sat Feb 10
Chill Winston
3 Alexander St Gastown
8:30ish

Official end of my t-shirt and shoe collecting days of my 20's.

Let me know if you can come in the comments.

Fri night: yaggers - food, drink etc

then:

Serendipity @ the Annex 307 West Cordova Street (kitty-corner to the Cambie) Steven Chapman & J Levis Downtempo/ Triphop/ Tapas Bar 9-pm Till Late

where Jason will be djing.

Hey guys,

So, I know I only email you when I am planning to come to Vancouver…oh well, at least I’m consistent..

Anyways, it looks like I will be hitting your fine city for a bit of a visit from Jan 30^th to Feb 4^th, and I was hoping you gentleman might be kicking around. This time my friend Stacey will be coming with me as well. We’ll be staying at a hotel downtown over the weekend, so maybe we could figure something out then…

Take it easy,

Tara

Ben Gibbard, lead singer from The Postal Service and Death Cab for Cutie, is playing a part in a movie to be directed by John Krasinski, who plays Halpert in The Office.

Could be good.

But you have to sit through a few hours of listening tests. The time has come again to test some sound cards, and I need impartial ears for an evening of sitting on your ass listening to things.

Will be set up to do this later this week or over the weekend. A wide variety of beverages will be provided for your enjoyment. And dancing girls. Well, mostly just beverages.

Any takers?

I can't explain it.

I just love this guy.

I think it's because he never lets reality stand in his way. That and he's Canadian.

Orpheum. March 12. Booyakasha.

Today is the International Day for the MentallyDisabled. Please send an encouraging message to a mentally retarded friend--as I have just done for you. Just thought I'd let your retarded ass know I don't mind being your friend. I don't care if you lick windows, forget to wear your pants, or occasionally shit yourself. I still really enjoy doing stuff with you. You always get us those goodparking spots right by the door. You hang in there little buddy because you are doing great! You are special, so keep trying!Have a great day!

This past New Year’s Eve I tried chocolate for the very first time. Except it wasn’t normal chocolate – it was the good kind…. the kind riddled small bits of fungus. Since I was a fungus virgin, I opted to take half a chocolate which supposedly contained only about ¼ gram. Initially I thought this wouldn’t be enough but I eventually found out this would be sufficient, especially after factoring in the weed and the booze I was simultaneously consuming.

As the evening progressed, I got louder. I tend to do that when I drink - my voice increases several decibels and I talk a lot more. Alcohol – check.

On the television, we watched some funky colour patterns which corresponded to the music we were listening to. At first I thought to my self this was the stuff that stoners find highly entertaining. About 15 minutes later I thought it was the coolest thing – how the music and the images coupled and interacted together. When I commented on my observations, people laughed. And I laughed. And then I forgot why I was laughing. Weed – check.

The next thing I know, we’re riding on a bus. I don’t know where we’re going but I’m pretty sure we’re heading north towards town. But something wasn’t right and I was not feeling good. Perhaps it was some numbness from the rigid seats and several days worth of bike riding but my ass wasn’t quite right. It felt like there was water running down my backside and down my leg. I wanted to check my leg – discretely of course – and placed our backpack (full of liquor) from my lap to the seat next to me. Saba noticed and responded “congratulations for figuring that out” recalling the pack’s weight. Our group laughed and I faked it but was freaking out because I had to find out if I had really encountered a case of the runs or if I was simply wigging out due to the foreign substances. But the water continued to flow down my leg and panic set in. Surely if I had the runs, it would smell and those around me would smell it too. “This is the longest bus ride EVER…” Geoff announces because of the lengthy bus ride - seemingly prolonged by of his influenced mental state. But I was certain he was referring to the stink. I wiped beads of sweat from my brow and looked out the window to see we were close to my house. I strategized and made plans to check myself out and rang the bell to get off at the next stop – discretely of course, except Anna noticed but thankfully didn’t say anything. I had to get off the bus quickly in a way that they wouldn’t notice the waterfall stains on my pants which I was 70% convinced existed and couldn’t take any chances. As soon as the bus stopped, I told the group I would meet them at the party, and made a b-line for the door as fast as I could. I took the alley to my house – walking along the sidewalk was too risky, especially if I ran into one of my neighbourhood friends. How could I explain my circumstances to them!? I burst into my apartment and dropped my drawers…. dry like the Sahara. Mushrooms – check.

We salute you.